song about near death experiences

There's an expression we often hear people use "I've been to hell and back." We often use this expression lightly, but some of us have been to really dark places and have had to literally bring ourselves back. Not sure how many people out there could relate.

I'm generally a positive person so I try to look for the good in everything...there must be a reason for this. I suffered severe depression during COVID which lead to what felt like a near death experience. I'll spare the details, but I was mentally not well which lead to being physically unwell. The mind and body are one. I was heavily medicated. I couldn't breathe. I collapsed over and over again. I lost my mind. I felt trapped in my body. I often couldn't move or couldn't stop moving. When you feel you're at the end or may have to live a different reality for the rest of your life, it changes you. You realize you have one body, in this one life. Materials mean less. We don't know what's after death so "live your life without regrets" as I write in this song.

Afterlife is based on this surreal and traumatic experience I had, coming back to life. When I was at my lowest point, collapsing one night alone, bleeding at the knees, racing thoughts in my head, all I saw was darkness. As I say in my song, I felt at this point "there is no life after death"...all I saw was darkness. No bright lights. No God. Just me alone, in pain and immobile.

I asked myself why, why is this happening to me. I've always been a good person. I died and all I saw was darkness. No one was going to save me. I felt God abandoned me. For this reason I write in Afterlife, "I thought faith would keep me safe...what a mistake." I just wanted to breathe. I just wanted to be able to be a mother and feel alive again.

When you really come to face with death, you re-evaluate life. I don't want to live with regret. I didn't expect to become a singer or songwriter. A lot of people were really scared for me during the time I was sick. Singing filled my heart, and more importantly, it helped me breathe. Singing literally helped me get off over 10+ pills a day in a few shorts months. I am truly grateful. It was nothing short of a miracle. For this reason, singing and songwriting will always be a part of my life.

If this song or story resonants with you, you can add this to your playlist. COVID stops the world for a period of time. We should all stop every so often and think or evaluate life. We only have one life, so live your life responsibly but without regret.